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Saturday, April 26, 2008

My Not-so-secret affair with Typos

Geek and I recently came to a conclusion that there are 3 types of typos in this world.

1. The Typo-typo (TT)
2. The Word-typo (WT)
3. The Smiley-typo (ST)

I would have stopped with this customarily (yeah right) but since you're still in this page reading this...this.......and oh yes, this too............. I will elaborate with a few FAQs.

I) Typo-typo
1) err... sorry, but what is a Typo-typo?
Oh, simple. This one is the spelling typo, the quintessential typo everyone commits. The 'o' instead of the 'i', the 'e' instead of an 'r'... they're very very common in IM especially if you type sooper fast like me.

2) Ok...So?
So...your chat transcript would look like this:

Friend1: So how are you feeling these days? Recovering from that nasty allergy?
Me: No. I'm feeling very colon-pope these days
Friend1: (silent)
Me: Chs....I meant colon-pipe
(Silence....A few seconds later)
Me: Cha...I meant cha
(A moment later)
Friend1: Are you done? *straight face*

3) So how should I feel after committing a typo-typo?
Relax...its not like you've killed the US president (if you did, can we hire you?)
If I were you, I'd just ignore this typo and pretend like it never happened. No need to cover up with the 'cha', 'oops', '* 'n all.
Its a waste of time.

4) So what do I do, really?
Nothing, don't bother with anything. Your partner/friend/girlfriend/not-so-girlfriend/foe/boss(ouch) is going to figure out what you were trying to say anyway.
So chill.

5) Peace. Can we go ahead with the next typo then?
Yes we can.

II) Word-Typo (WT)
1) Word-typo va? What the hell is that?
This one is the most abominable of all typos.
Its when you type the wrong word instead of the one you were planning on typing. Its a very painful typo to endure..particularly when you're the one committing it. A few of these in your IM transcript, you can be instantly declared as the I'm-trying-to talk-Englees-but-its-blowing-up-royally-on-my-face king of the community.

2) Come on...how on earth would you type the wrong word while IM'ing?
Sometimes when you think really fast and your fingers try to compete with the speed of your thought process, you end up typing words that 'sound' like the ones that actually ought to be there. And as Murphy would have it (in some way or the other), the word you've put down will have absolutely no relation whatsoever with the one you intended on putting down.

3) Eh? Double Eh??
For instance you'd end up typing an 'after' instead of a 'have to' because these two happen to sound quite similar.

So instead of typing I 'have to' stop at Mylapore on my way there,
You'd end up typing I 'after' stop at Mylapore on my way there

Not very enjoyable I tell you.

3) Christ! Do people actually commit such typos? Do you ?
Do I?
God, that is all I do on IM these days.
I don't know how or why but of late my chat transcripts are full of WTs...is it probably because I'm thinking faster these days than usual?

See, this is one of the reasons why I'd rather not IM someone I wish to keep in good spirits. I prefer the telephone if I'm yet to impress you.

4) God! :O This sounds like a malicious typo. How does it feel?
If you instantly identify your WT, you'd sometimes not even feel like going back and correcting it for fear of answering the embarrassing question 'Huh...how on earth did you put that word there?'
However, its a totally different story if you don't identify the WT at all.
I'm at total shame when I think of the WTs I've committed and NOT identified till very recently..because of which I hesitate to go back and read some old enjoyable transcripts with some good friends.

This following instance is the most nefarious of the lot.
Note: The word 'you' is a WT instead of the word 'to'

KindFriend: We have these wonderful music sessions every weekend. You could join us if you want to :-)
Me: Oh wow...I'd love you
(few seconds pause)

KindFriend(terribly confused) : err..sure..whatever.

Not a pretty scene no?

5) Ouch, yes. I see what you mean, So what do I do to obviate such WTs? I'd like to keep my friends you know :P
Yes, yes, I understand perfectly... the only way out, is reading what you've typed and THEN pushing the Enter button.
I won't be doing that though. Too much of a waste of time. :P

6) Ok, and the last typo?

III) The Smiley-typo
1) Let me guess...its by putting the wrong smiley?
Well yes, you got it.
But its not too harmful or anything to your reputation. So you can just put the right smiley following the wrong one.

2) You *actually* make smiley-typos 'n all? Christ!
Its not my fault. *all defensive now*
Sometimes different IM clients use different character combinations for their smileys.
For instance, :-x is the angry smiley in Orkut.
While :-x is the 'falling in love smiley' in Yahoo!

3) *yawn*...so?
So, I wouldn't exactly be conveying what I wanted to in Yahoo! if I said:

Me: God, you're so infuriating I could throw my bookshelf on you
":-x"

4) Ah, I get the picture. So what do I do to not make a Smiley-typo?
Just remember which client your using. Simple.

5) Ok, thank you. That was indeed very enlightening. You're the best blogger in the world and I love you. Are you done?
Yes. I am done, thank you very much.
But sometimes its really worth committing a typo you know. Any typo.
Geek and I have laughed our guts out for hours looking at the typos we make.

Try it yourself.
The more preposterous the typo, the harder you laugh and the harder you fall off your chair

Happy typ(o)ing.
Till then, its Confoundud-baby saying 'wood-dye' to all of 'yoi'. :-x
:D

34 Confounded-souls had something to say:

Ramkumar R. Aiyengar said...

befitting that the geek comments first? ;;) so since you won't look and then press enter, time for that pidgin plugin..

Bulbing Lady: blah blah blah.. [Enter]
Not-so-bulbing Plugin: Are you sure you wanted to type this?
BL: Enter
NP: But there seems to be a grammatical problem there. Sure still?
BL: Enter
NP: And what about the X-( ? That has different meanings on different clients, right?
BL: (Getting impatient) Enter, Enter, Enter
NP: Uh wait, you press consecutive Enter's within fractions of a second. You naughty girl, you are not listening to me. Let me start disabling Enter for 5 seconds everytime I have a message.
[waits for 5 seconds]
BL: Enter (positively furious now)
NP: Oh no! You are red now.. Dunno if its rage or a relapse, but take care anyway... All set to enter message?
BL: Enter

Chat window returns.. last few lines...

PoorFriend: Hey, so you still there?
PoorFriend: Uh? okay.. catch ya later
PoorFriend: ?? bbye!
PoorFriend is now offline

:D

adi said...

haha, akka, that was supero super. very true!

and ramkumar's comment is even more hilarious. ROFL@ plugin idea!

Anonymous said...

Are u sure the smileys differ on different IM-ing tools ? I thought it was all standard Colon-dee !

-- Oops... !

Confounded-Lady said...

@Geek: Yeah yeah...you'd know wouldnt you.
Btw..I am so considering your pidgin offer. I need to convince a few of my other friends that I do know Englipees after all. :D

lol at transcript. Thats the BL's worst nightmare. :| :P

@adi:
hehe...:) Yeah, Geeks have in in them, dont you think? ;)

@oops:
colon-dee is universal. She doesnt change. I hope.

Ramkumar R. Aiyengar said...

he he...

*geeks have it in...

there you go again :D

(actually I have got so used to your 'style' of writing that I autocorrected and overlooked it for so long :p)

adi said...

ROFL akka, you proved yourself.hehehe

OK said...

That was brilliant. By far your best post, mayth! I am totally impressed and your categorization and in depth understanding of the types of typos. You could maybe use this to get a master's thesis in English from "Kopuram Devi College of Humanities".

In any case I found a word typo in the section on word typo

"...absolutely to relation whatsoever"

Should it be 'no' instead of 'to'?

Coconut Chutney said...

:D
been there, 'tpyed' that. :P

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

I ALWYS cirrect.

*I always correct.

:D

P.S-waste of time? so long as I get fast-fast replies. :P ;)

Anonymous said...

Lol! Glad to see the humour back.

Come on Yahoo! no? :P

-Vaij

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Lola, one of you're best post, yeti. :-(

wickedtaurus said...

awesome post! :)

rofl @ "Relax...its not like you've killed the US president (if you did, can we hire you?)"

PREETI said...

Yup, this is ur BEST till date...The salt water 'water-fall' hasn't ceased YET! :D

The smiley typo slightly the worst-est (!)..Imagine fighting with 'him' and he's allll scrreaming and pissed and instead of "I'm sorry ;(" u put "I'm sorry ;)"

Hehe...Next in line is the word type...I face this alllll the time cuz I'm a fast typer AND a multi-tasker...And so, I'd most probably be sms-ing, watching tv, talking to someone and typing..and I'd mis-type something from another conversation!

eg: She: Such an ass! I HATE him!
*ME looking at the baby on tv*
Me: Soooo cute!!!
She: huh??? x-(

The typo-type is less dangerous cuz more often than not, the other person would know what ur talkin abt...lkie thsi! :D

adi said...

See this

:)

V said...

hahaha... thanks for this tutorial, per se. ineed ot morre thank anyone else.

Sutta said...

Woah!!
Whattaa observation. :O

Confounded-Lady said...

@Geek:
Yeah you should be immune to all that now :P :D

@Adi:
*Sigh* what to do.. typos and me lam poorva jenma bond :P

@OK:

Nakkals-Raja thaan neenga pongo!
Type corrected, thank you. :D

@cc:
:D

@bw:
Yeah, fast fast replies is what I like giving. But at the cost of what? :|

Confounded-Lady said...

@Vaij:
Sure madam, you asked for it :P :D

@BPSK:
Fankoo saab :D I told you that GB didnt really deserve a GB status when she was Typo-Queen :D

@Not-so-Wicked-Taurus ;)-
Thank you :D

@Preets:
Fankoooo >:D<
Salt water fall? :-/
Yeah smsing can blow up on your face when you dont pay attention. :|
Lol..at the anology :))


@V:
:D
But I didnt get a word of that. You beat me at the typos front :D

@Sutta:
Why thank you :D

@Adi:
Wow...I've been Desi-Pundited :D :D :D
Fankooooo thambee >:D<

Ilango said...

did you hear about the ad in london that caused a lot of people to get epileptic fits?

well, your template nearly gave me one... please, spare some thought for us and change your template...

oh, btw, really funny post, had me in splits.. could identify with a lot of typos that i usually make :)

bharani said...

whattay analysis on typos!!...looked up the dictionary...typo is only for spelling mistakes...typing wrong words and putting wrong smileys are just "maythini-os"....btw....you confuse "after" with "have to"?!!...enna aachu psbbabdadbadbad...and "to" with "you"?!!...i gotta go check all our previous chats to see if i've mistook you somewhere seriously...

jokes aside...you amuse me by how you can write interesting blogs on nothing....!...you should script some sitcoms....

aandthirtyeights said...

Don't know if this qualifies as a typo (hell, it doesn't), but it is a common mistake for me - when I'm telling person A about person B, and both chat windows are open, I often tell person B.

Example:

Person B: so, gandhi was only a condition to a means of subjectivity.
Me: hmmm
i think B is a big faker!
(quickly realising what i've done!)
oh fuck. i meant A!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

word typo = freudian slip! ( of the nasty kind usually)

--xh-- said...

LOL @ '(if you did, can we hire you?)' he he he..
i alwys saya me and typo r twins.. most fo my typos are type 1.. and man, i now stopepd correcting them coz it takes more effort tahn to chat...
thankfully, the guy to whom i report also have teh same problem.. so we often laugh over it nad never corrects it... :)

--xh-- said...

seriously, a really cool blog.. 4got 2 say that in the first comment... :) the analysis and examples r really hilarious...

OK said...

(Sharpening my kitchen knife)

Waiting for the post on PSBB boys. And, I hope you will make the distinction between KKn boys versus Main school boys.

Mayth!!/CL said...

@Ilango:
I could consider that plea...how would you fancy setting your eyes upon the myriad shades of pink I'd flash about then? ;)

@Bee:
Yeah, I'm planning on giving Seinfeld a run for their money. Wanna help? :D

@aandthirtyeights:
Oh yeah, thats the most wicked one of the lot. Its worse than a typo...'ve been there, done that :|

@cynic on wonderland:
Oh yeah :| WT's are so not nice :|

@xh:
High five! I'm typo's twin too :D Does that makes us 3 twins? :-/ :D
Thanks btw! :)

@OK:
I'll be as diplomatic as possible as I have buds from both schools...All in good time though.

Drenched said...

ROFL! Hilarious analysis! :D
One of my friends does it like this:
She: I was goiing to say...
She: -i
Me: -i? what does MINUS i mean?
She: idiot, you sybtract extra i from goiing.
She: -y, +u
Me: Er, subtract y and add u so that it becomes subtract?
She: of course


:P

vanilla vats said...

:D
But some typous never change.
I ment tyops
I meen typos
I mean typos.
:)
And owchies to the WT.
"I love that"
"Er, sure watever." :)
(sorry havent been checking out many blogs lately. so couldnt hop over)

Swetha said...

Veryyyyy true and very funny. Smiley typos and typo-typos are all about my conversations.

Now I've just stopped bothering. My posts are filled with them. I read it, it pisses me off, I move on.

Sigh, Its a tough life.

Divs said...

Dearie...loved the post!!

Now wen did u move? any plans to come back to here before the big day nd stuff? was seriously wondering abt calling nd catchin up wen i caught up with the facts in d blog!! :(

never mind! do tell me wen u r arnd next time!

enjoy!!

Nd yea hilarious post! as always! :P

Confounded-Lady said...

@Drenched: Lol...now thats complicated. I'd rather stick to WT's then :))

@Varsha:
Theres just one word I can think of for you dear. It begins with 'c', ends with 'e' and has a 'u' and 't' in between :D

@Swetha:\
Join the club.There is room for everyone.

@Divs:
>:D< Will talk to you soon

Goda Ramkumar said...

Woow... Sooper! I echo your feelings being your classmate [:)] I dont know what blogger smileys are.. I guess it should be similar to gtalk.. it is owned by the same company u see [:D].. But Colon D is always colon D :D

The Retardo Man said...

*Rolling on the floor laughing*...:D

Oops, I meant '=))'

;)

TheMaglev said...

The best one mayths!!
totally bought every word as member of all-forms-of-typo-community..
Esp the typo where we mess the 's' to 'd' and murder the englees..!
"I has food" (soundin lik the tam serial junta usign eng words!)