Mic please..

So I've tried and tried AND tried to put something up here for quite a while but in vain and all I can boast of, as for now, is a big fat drafts-section in which I can proudly proclaim that I've probably exhausted all the possible 'n+23' ways to start a fresh post. Its taken me THIS long to come back here and I don't quite intend on making this an I've-Not-Been-Blogging-oflate-Because.. post , considering that disappearing and re-disappearing is so much a part of Confounded-Lady's life.
Syaad I know.

Yenihoo, I finally post. Not that its post-worthy material, its a post.

So now that we're convinced that this IS a post and I can assume that you'd accept whatever I write here, I don't think I have to bother with the minute details of the various frivolities of life.

Like say, you wouldn't be interested in Confounded-Lady's daily confrontation with a 60 year old driving instructor who screams for his dear life when she crosses 25km/hr...would you?

Or perhaps...the humour she's s attempted to locate in sharing a house with a 16 year-old teenage NRI kid who's fashion sense would give Paris Hilton a run for her money (or another run to jail :P ) or even better, make Confounded-'ol-Lady look like an archaic work of art from the Medieval ages.
(I love you Divya/Dipsu-kutti anyways)...

.....Or how about being terrified of the newly hired servant-maid who constantly yells at CL for changing the place of the broomstick from behind the kitchen to..well, somewhere behind the kitchen where Maidy-dear couldn't bother to look till Confounded Lady saves the day...

I still think that watching 16 year old Dipsu-kutti get her hair coloured dark-red at Maha's is worth a separate post, 'cos I'm yet to get over the fact that my family heirloom does comprise of some twisted fashion-sense-DNAs after all and not just the traditional 9-gajam way of thinking. Goooooo Dipsu!

Ok..yayy, you've got me all excited. :D
So where do I start?

Who will cry when you cry

Have you ever thought and thought over something so much, that it hurt?
So much so ,that it leaves you staring at the ceiling wondering if you're on the verge of going insane.

Sometimes all you see is all pervading madness around you, even though its ironically just
confined to the realms of your head. You've tried looking at things with an open-mind so much so that you feel that your head's almost falling apart from all that open-ness.

You feel like you're losing it and are dying for some perspective.
Any perspective, as long as its not yours b'cos you've had too much of that and it kills you.
You start to act all clandestine hoping that someone picks up signals and listens to what you're not saying.
Sometimes that doesn't really work, so you try to reach out to you're friends and talk to them, ask them if you are losing it after all, without having them be all judgmental and think that you're on a one way trip to banana-land.

But it isn't all that easy finding a listener, is it?
Who do you confide in? Not all you're million friends are listeners. The difference between the both hits you like a bus on the road now. Problems in life aren't rare, so everyone may not be particularly generous in sympathizing with you. You don't blame them though- after all, to each his problem. You therefore start convincing yourself into not making a big deal out of this and just wait patiently till your head stops spinning. Which it doesn't.
So you just wait, for nothing actually.

Yet amidst all this, someone finds you- a friend, a not-so friend, a random guy who sat beside you on the white bench at the park, someone on your friend's list you haven't struck a conversation with, someone you don't know. Someone you have absolutely no pretensions with, someone who makes you just split wide open, someone you can just talk to- without the slightest iota fear or shame, someone who breaks the dam, someone who thinks and puts your perspective in place. Someone who's like a ray of light in that tunnel. Someone who listens.

Things that scared you all this while now start to make some sense, if not all, with a lil bit of help from someone. Any someone.
The clarity you missed all this while brings a smile to your face. You feel like its rained on your garden after years. You know that it is possible to share some things with some people and not end up feeling like a fool at the end of it.

And suddenly life doesn't seem all that bad. Life isnt really all that bad come to think of it.
Its all about finding someone though.

Talk to me no?

Rite, so whats up?
Nothing??

I'll tell you whats up. Off late, a lot of my friends from the Not-so-Fairer sex (pun intended like never before) have mysteriously disappeared and stopped talking to me. See, this is unfair. I'm just engaged you know. Not like I've been accused of murder or am down with small-pox or something. I can talk. Yes, to you. Very much.
So talk to me no?

Guys suddenly get this thing with committed ladies, I notice. They think they're infringing upon public property if they're still talking to an engaged/married girl. Sad na? Tsk-tsk.
Yes, I know, its every Reggie Mantle 's worst nightmare to get beaten up by Moose when all he's doing is having a friendly banter with Midge.... but seriously, Moose isn't so Moosey you know. So , whats with the disappearing act?
Talk to me no?

My girlfriends. I shouldn't go ahead with this post without their mention.
They have been extra sweet 'n all with me by still generously calling me up time and again to ask me if I'm making the whole thing up just to attract attention. See, that's what best friends are for. What would I do without you gurls? :P
There's another set of girlfriends that's not been talking to me off late as they feel that they'd be 'wasting my time' -as they put it- at this point.
"Huh" you say? Yeah, I say that too.
How would my gurlfriends be wasting my.... (sniff).. Oh crap, You've got me all teary now.
Screw you. I'm going shopping now. :P
But seriously, talk to me no?

See, if you'd just talk to me, I'd talk to you, and I could tell you how boring interesting my life is and you can tell me how interesting yours is. Exciting no? Just imagine all the fun we're depriving ourselves just because you're not talking to me.
Talk to me no?


Listen, I'm not as desperate as I sound.

No, really.

Ok, maybe a bit.

Actually a bit more...

Wait..can you repeat the question ?

Its a CAT's Life

Tell me you didn't know that the CAT results are out and I will look at you like you were the scum of the Earth. Not that I care a tad about CAT results (never cared for 'em even when I wrote them but wait, I didn't have to tell you that did I? ) ...its just that its 'implications' are so remarkably relevant.

You see, Oh-Patient-Reader-of-Blog, its a highly title based society we live in.
This ideal society is so full of camouflaged pretence that would even make British High Society look humble.
No really, I'm not being cynical about this, really, I've observed with due course of time, what examination-results do in this painstakingly pretentious society of ours.

One admit into the 'reputed institutes' and your image in society undergoes a total makeover. So, all of a sudden that weird freak you'd never noticed in college or that reserved teammate at work who'd never turn up for social gatherings, is now our long-lost hero, that close friend we never 'had the opportunity' to talk to but now desperately crave to socialise with.

hmm...am I making sense? Or is it just my head?
Never mind, lets just not answer that thank you very much.

You know, there was a time when I thought of doing a decent MBA, you know, accomplish something in life, make daddy proud of his li'l girl 'n all that jazz. Of course, that thought dissipated into thin air before I could even say Eye-Eye-Yum-Ay.

So now what am I doing ?
Well what do all Once-Upon-A-Time-CAT-Aspirants do best?
Tell our comrades to work hard the next time. Give CAT gyaan over GTALK and be their source of motivation. Tell them that if they can't do it, no one can and that you need to see that IIM glory you never saw, through them.
So, you see, when they actually do go somewhere and you...well..don't, you can at least tap their shoulders and say 'See, I told you. Now where's my candy?'

After all, like I always say, ' If you cant beat them... kick 'em.'

Here endeth thy lesson. Now, let the games begin.



PS: I'm just kidding Sahil/Bhaumik. I really do hope that you guys get into that insti in Ahemadabad.

:D

An Arranged Wa(ge)r..?

Coming from the family I come from, I grew up all this time without any disillusions of my marriage. I knew that mine would be the quintessential arranged marriage where my choice would predominantly be limited to the colour of my muhoortham-Saree's and designs on the front cover of my invitation card, and I've had absolutely no reservations whatsoever. My parents trust(ed) me for that, and I did too, more than them.

Of late however, I'm beginning to find the very institution of arranged marriages rather questionable. Despite growing up with the sense of security that parents do only whats 'best', I've suddenly started to wonder if thats just a chancy promise they 'hope' to live up to. After all, there are myriad things that are just not under their control.

Tell me, of all the dubious assumptions one makes during the entire process of an arranged marriage, can one afford to 'assume' the temprement or the sanity of the boy/girl? How can one afford to take that for granted?


There was this friend's friend of mine whom I knew...knew as in just plain acquaintances- as she was this major diva in our common circles, very popular, daring and talented while I was..well, lets just say that I was not your typical Hanna Montanah;)
She passed out of a ranking university and got into a top notch company. Last I heard is that she gets beaten up like crazy by her husband for no reason at all. Her's was an arranged marriage.

Case of assumed-stable temperments eh?


Its one thing to fall in love, get married, and then regret it. But its a totally different thing to marry the person your folks tell you to, and then regret it and feel trapped for the rest of your life. The thing is, you cant really blame yourself here, unlike the former case, or blame your parents as that would be truly unfair... So what do you blame? Who do you blame? What is the solution to incompatibility? Compromise?

Let me tell you, I'm not playing sides here with the trite love-marriage-aa-arranged-marriage-aa discussion. I'm beyond all that. Its just that for a person who'd had unadulterated faith in the system of arranged marriages, I'm rather disappointed that I have to start reconsidering its credibility.

Also, I've been thinking, did Adi Shankara really know what he was talking about when he quoted :

निजगृहात्तूर्णं विनिर्गम्यताम्

(Walk out of your home soon )

You know what? I'm thinking too much... God, where's that can of Ice-cream?