Two weeks notice

I've never actually been 2 weeks away from my wedding because...well, I've never really been married before. No one always gets to be 2 weeks away from one's wedding until he's actually... two weeks away from his wedding, so it isnt a very common feeling, this two weeks notice thing.
Cha, this isnt exactly the dream start for this post, but just to show you how I blog when I'm not very high on editing. I promise I'm going somewhere with this one though.*

The amount of activity that takes place during the last 2 weeks before a wedding makes me wonder if there WERE any weeks before the 2 weeks before the wedding. You know in an Indian Wedding its like, the whole world earnestly works towards making the wedding a grand success like they were producing a movie, but its just during these last 2 weeks that all of the action takes place.
I have a feeling I havent made an iota of sense till now but hear me out when I say that I am simply amazed at the speed at which things unravel during this period...its like all the work that had to be done gradually before a wedding, suddenly gets done in such an unimaginable pace during this period.

Picture this.
All my saree-blouses suddenly get stitched and come back home from the tailors who had them for like...forever, just because I say there are only 'two weeks left'.
My house maid has been working like an ox (I dont know if that simile conveyed what it had to...I never trust my self-made similies) cos its apparently crucial time now. Heck, she's started coming regularly...thats a miracle by itself.
Our Iyengar samayakaar-maami (cook) feeds me like a baby with all the possible greens, yellows, oranges, pinks (didnt think I'd list colours without a pink did you?) in the world 'cos I'll be leaving home soon.
My neighbors *actually* smile at me when they spot me in the elevator. (Wow)
Appa is extra jovial. (Now that I'm not particularly comfortable with. The folks are already relieved I'm leaving.. And I havent even left yet. hmph!_max)
Everyone on the never-ending list's finally been invited and I'm mentally tired of revising the list to make sure I haven't left anyone out. I sent out the last batch of invitations today. Amen to that. And I thought this day would never come.
The most common words uttered by every random woman who enters my house is 'Rendu vaaram thaan iriku baaki la? :O ' (For the uninitiated in Tamil, "Just two weeks left no 'Colon-wo'?" )

I'm very evidently getting psyched now. You can tell from the sense I've made so far (or the lack of it). Actually, I dont think you'd know the difference if you know me by now.

But do you blame me?
I'm getting married....in two weeks!
:O

*Or then again maybe not.

Mic please..

So I've tried and tried AND tried to put something up here for quite a while but in vain and all I can boast of, as for now, is a big fat drafts-section in which I can proudly proclaim that I've probably exhausted all the possible 'n+23' ways to start a fresh post. Its taken me THIS long to come back here and I don't quite intend on making this an I've-Not-Been-Blogging-oflate-Because.. post , considering that disappearing and re-disappearing is so much a part of Confounded-Lady's life.
Syaad I know.

Yenihoo, I finally post. Not that its post-worthy material, its a post.

So now that we're convinced that this IS a post and I can assume that you'd accept whatever I write here, I don't think I have to bother with the minute details of the various frivolities of life.

Like say, you wouldn't be interested in Confounded-Lady's daily confrontation with a 60 year old driving instructor who screams for his dear life when she crosses 25km/hr...would you?

Or perhaps...the humour she's s attempted to locate in sharing a house with a 16 year-old teenage NRI kid who's fashion sense would give Paris Hilton a run for her money (or another run to jail :P ) or even better, make Confounded-'ol-Lady look like an archaic work of art from the Medieval ages.
(I love you Divya/Dipsu-kutti anyways)...

.....Or how about being terrified of the newly hired servant-maid who constantly yells at CL for changing the place of the broomstick from behind the kitchen to..well, somewhere behind the kitchen where Maidy-dear couldn't bother to look till Confounded Lady saves the day...

I still think that watching 16 year old Dipsu-kutti get her hair coloured dark-red at Maha's is worth a separate post, 'cos I'm yet to get over the fact that my family heirloom does comprise of some twisted fashion-sense-DNAs after all and not just the traditional 9-gajam way of thinking. Goooooo Dipsu!

Ok..yayy, you've got me all excited. :D
So where do I start?

My Not-so-secret affair with Typos

Geek and I recently came to a conclusion that there are 3 types of typos in this world.

1. The Typo-typo (TT)
2. The Word-typo (WT)
3. The Smiley-typo (ST)

I would have stopped with this customarily (yeah right) but since you're still in this page reading this...this.......and oh yes, this too............. I will elaborate with a few FAQs.

I) Typo-typo
1) err... sorry, but what is a Typo-typo?
Oh, simple. This one is the spelling typo, the quintessential typo everyone commits. The 'o' instead of the 'i', the 'e' instead of an 'r'... they're very very common in IM especially if you type sooper fast like me.

2) Ok...So?
So...your chat transcript would look like this:

Friend1: So how are you feeling these days? Recovering from that nasty allergy?
Me: No. I'm feeling very colon-pope these days
Friend1: (silent)
Me: Chs....I meant colon-pipe
(Silence....A few seconds later)
Me: Cha...I meant cha
(A moment later)
Friend1: Are you done? *straight face*

3) So how should I feel after committing a typo-typo?
Relax...its not like you've killed the US president (if you did, can we hire you?)
If I were you, I'd just ignore this typo and pretend like it never happened. No need to cover up with the 'cha', 'oops', '* 'n all.
Its a waste of time.

4) So what do I do, really?
Nothing, don't bother with anything. Your partner/friend/girlfriend/not-so-girlfriend/foe/boss(ouch) is going to figure out what you were trying to say anyway.
So chill.

5) Peace. Can we go ahead with the next typo then?
Yes we can.

II) Word-Typo (WT)
1) Word-typo va? What the hell is that?
This one is the most abominable of all typos.
Its when you type the wrong word instead of the one you were planning on typing. Its a very painful typo to endure..particularly when you're the one committing it. A few of these in your IM transcript, you can be instantly declared as the I'm-trying-to talk-Englees-but-its-blowing-up-royally-on-my-face king of the community.

2) Come on...how on earth would you type the wrong word while IM'ing?
Sometimes when you think really fast and your fingers try to compete with the speed of your thought process, you end up typing words that 'sound' like the ones that actually ought to be there. And as Murphy would have it (in some way or the other), the word you've put down will have absolutely no relation whatsoever with the one you intended on putting down.

3) Eh? Double Eh??
For instance you'd end up typing an 'after' instead of a 'have to' because these two happen to sound quite similar.

So instead of typing I 'have to' stop at Mylapore on my way there,
You'd end up typing I 'after' stop at Mylapore on my way there

Not very enjoyable I tell you.

3) Christ! Do people actually commit such typos? Do you ?
Do I?
God, that is all I do on IM these days.
I don't know how or why but of late my chat transcripts are full of WTs...is it probably because I'm thinking faster these days than usual?

See, this is one of the reasons why I'd rather not IM someone I wish to keep in good spirits. I prefer the telephone if I'm yet to impress you.

4) God! :O This sounds like a malicious typo. How does it feel?
If you instantly identify your WT, you'd sometimes not even feel like going back and correcting it for fear of answering the embarrassing question 'Huh...how on earth did you put that word there?'
However, its a totally different story if you don't identify the WT at all.
I'm at total shame when I think of the WTs I've committed and NOT identified till very recently..because of which I hesitate to go back and read some old enjoyable transcripts with some good friends.

This following instance is the most nefarious of the lot.
Note: The word 'you' is a WT instead of the word 'to'

KindFriend: We have these wonderful music sessions every weekend. You could join us if you want to :-)
Me: Oh wow...I'd love you
(few seconds pause)
KindFriend(terribly confused) : err..sure..whatever.

Not a pretty scene no?

5) Ouch, yes. I see what you mean, So what do I do to obviate such WTs? I'd like to keep my friends you know :P
Yes, yes, I understand perfectly... the only way out, is reading what you've typed and THEN pushing the Enter button.
I won't be doing that though. Too much of a waste of time. :P

6) Ok, and the last typo?

III) The Smiley-typo
1) Let me guess...its by putting the wrong smiley?
Well yes, you got it.
But its not too harmful or anything to your reputation. So you can just put the right smiley following the wrong one.

2) You *actually* make smiley-typos 'n all? Christ!
Its not my fault. *all defensive now*
Sometimes different IM clients use different character combinations for their smileys.
For instance, :-x is the angry smiley in Orkut.
While :-x is the 'falling in love smiley' in Yahoo!

3) *yawn*...so?
So, I wouldn't exactly be conveying what I wanted to in Yahoo! if I said:

Me: God, you're so infuriating I could throw my bookshelf on you
":-x"

4) Ah, I get the picture. So what do I do to not make a Smiley-typo?
Just remember which client your using. Simple.

5) Ok, thank you. That was indeed very enlightening. You're the best blogger in the world and I love you. Are you done?
Yes. I am done, thank you very much.
But sometimes its really worth committing a typo you know. Any typo.
Geek and I have laughed our guts out for hours looking at the typos we make.

Try it yourself.
The more preposterous the typo, the harder you laugh and the harder you fall off your chair

Happy typ(o)ing.
Till then, its Confoundud-baby saying 'wood-dye' to all of 'yoi'. :-x
:D

Ok, lets see..

1. Got up quite early this morning -before my dad actually (which is inhumanly early) and almost killed him with the heart-attack he got, on seeing me roam about the house in the wee hours of the morning.
*2 Aapee points (I think)

2.Told amma I'll take care of 'all' the cooking 'today' while she can rest for the whole day.
She wasn't particularly amused.
See thats why Ekadasis are extra special.
*1 Aapee point (*smug look*)

3. Banged my toe against the same door I banged it against the day before.
"Ooooowwwwch" doesn't seem to be strong enough a word.
*2 Not-so-Aapee points

4. Made call to India and spoke to friend for 30 minutes. Me the happy. >:D<
*2 Aapee points

5. Realised that I do have some matter to blog on after all, but am too lazy to blog.
Shame shame Confounded-Dame.
*3 Not-so-Aapee points

6. Learnt a new song in rAgam ShadvidamArgini. She has such a beautiful scale..and *such* a beautiful name.
Me the sooper happy.
*3 Aapee points

7. Almost deleted mail from Mr.Fiance thinking it was spam :O
Note to self: Must get used to important mails in mailbox for a change
*5 Not-so-Aapee points

So that leaves me with.... Net 2 Not-so-Aapee points today :O

*colon-pipe*

Think I should blog more often and not bang my toe against the door over two days consecutively.
Or..perhaps make more ISD calls to buds in India and petrify my dad more frequently in the mornings? :-/

I don't know. You do the math.
I'll do the honours.

:D

That post without a Title

Confounded-lady is back!!
Thunder, lightening, creepy-music and 'bwahahahaha'.

(That was evil-laughter just in case you bothered to read that)

Not that anyone missed me (if you did, for the record, I love you), but contrary to the normal alibis I see these days for not being able to blog; say for instance, lack of time (which is not even remotely my problem these days. grr), not getting the right flow of thought (whatever thats supposed to mean) and the like, I actually did have plenty of intellectually stimulating topics I wanted enlighten my readers on but was in a dilemma as to which one to discuss. No, really..

*straight face*

Ok, I hear you. You can stop laughing now lest you fall of your chair. I'm already being accused of trying to impair every one's vision with the bright shades of my blog. I don't wish to do you any (more) harm.
So enough already.

I thus commence .
I've been tagged by fellow bloggers Busy-writer and Preets.
According to OK's Law of Crapping, Engineers cut to the chace without much useless banter. Under normal circumstances this would be konjum kashtam given the very purpose of this blog, but I seriously do wish to abide by this rule considering that this may tragically be the only testimony to me having endured 4 educative years of Engineering.
The question for us engineers is after all, to BE or not to BE, no?

No??

hmph. I'll just shut-up and get along with the Tag then. :P

Some 10 random points about me which no one knows. I doubt if there are that many actually, so I'll do 6. Peace.

1. :-)
I'd like to think that my obsession over smileys is unparalleled. I very rarely type stuff on the Internet without a smiley at the end. Smileys make me happy. Well, so does chocolate but you don't care do you.
Yahoo! is a beautiful experience altogether. I'm forever in love with Colon-dee, the way it blinks its eyes. :D :P >:D< ;;) these are my favourite smileys, in the same order.

2. My Impeccable Memory
My memory can be bench-marked with Gajini (of Gajjini fame) and you'll find that I indeed am endowed with depressingly pathetic memory skills. I forget names. I forget birthdays. I forget rAgas. I sometimes forget what I was going to enter next while chatting (someone might know what I mean :D )
I personally think its because I think a lot, rapidly. My thought process is very fast and I end up thinking a trillion things within a short span, so there is perhaps just too many to recollect.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Is there anything healthy about a bad memory?

3. Growing up and being paranoid
I just refuse to accept that I'm growing up. I find it terribly agonizing you know. I'd like to stay young forever, 22 would be ideal. These days I find a lot of people calling me akka. Kids in the tempe call me aunty. grr_max. Everyone grows old up, I know.. but I still yearn for for Neverland. :

4. I was called Swetha once upon a time.
Actually, I was called 'sweater' in school. Not that I minded much.
Mommy-dearest gets a brainwave one fine morning in 1990 and decides that I should be called 'Jennifer Lopez' from then on (name changed to protect identity). The rest like they say, is mystery.

5. I leave the house with the I-don't-give-a-damn look.
It really pains my mother so to say. And offlate my 15 year old fashion-queen cousin who happens to live in the same building as me. Divya (name NOT changed to protect identity) was visibly appalled by the orange butterfly clip I wore to her party at Caesar's'. Poor thing. I don't blame her though. I too sometimes think that orange and black just don't go together. :P

6. I am that Bulb-Goddess you always feared .
I don't think this will be a major surprise to people who know me well. I just don't get things instantly-whether they're jokes, witty comments whatever. Even a fast conversation leaves me twiddling my thumb.
Once when I was on a bulbing-high, someone asked if I was feighning my confused state. :P
I said yes and changed the topic. That still cracks me up. :P
I am konjum slow and trust me, I'm not at all proud of it. :

7. I am skeptical of the Internet. Period.
When it comes to making friends or developing a good relationship, I am wary of the Internet. I think the Internet is the most precarious medium and cannot/should not be banked upon. There have been quite a few exceptions off late, but I think they are too good to be true.
The probability of a misunderstanding or baseless assumption is maximum on communication over the Internet. I will perhaps blog more on this. Or maybe, I won't.


There. I could rattle my head and come up with a few more..but I have a feeling I might have lost you somewhere in point#4 itself. So this should very well do for now.

Hope I'd done you girls proud. This space is dedicated to you .
I tag anyone who's facing a writer's block currently.

Take care, and say hi to your mom for me :D

Yours confoun'deadly',
Me.

That post did help a lot.
More than I expected.

Thanks for answering my calls guys.

:D

Talk to me no?

Rite, so whats up?
Nothing??

I'll tell you whats up. Off late, a lot of my friends from the Not-so-Fairer sex (pun intended like never before) have mysteriously disappeared and stopped talking to me. See, this is unfair. I'm just engaged you know. Not like I've been accused of murder or am down with small-pox or something. I can talk. Yes, to you. Very much.
So talk to me no?

Guys suddenly get this thing with committed ladies, I notice. They think they're infringing upon public property if they're still talking to an engaged/married girl. Sad na? Tsk-tsk.
Yes, I know, its every Reggie Mantle 's worst nightmare to get beaten up by Moose when all he's doing is having a friendly banter with Midge.... but seriously, Moose isn't so Moosey you know. So , whats with the disappearing act?
Talk to me no?

My girlfriends. I shouldn't go ahead with this post without their mention.
They have been extra sweet 'n all with me by still generously calling me up time and again to ask me if I'm making the whole thing up just to attract attention. See, that's what best friends are for. What would I do without you gurls? :P
There's another set of girlfriends that's not been talking to me off late as they feel that they'd be 'wasting my time' -as they put it- at this point.
"Huh" you say? Yeah, I say that too.
How would my gurlfriends be wasting my.... (sniff).. Oh crap, You've got me all teary now.
Screw you. I'm going shopping now. :P
But seriously, talk to me no?

See, if you'd just talk to me, I'd talk to you, and I could tell you how boring interesting my life is and you can tell me how interesting yours is. Exciting no? Just imagine all the fun we're depriving ourselves just because you're not talking to me.
Talk to me no?


Listen, I'm not as desperate as I sound.

No, really.

Ok, maybe a bit.

Actually a bit more...

Wait..can you repeat the question ?

I hear Valentine's Day is round the corner.


Think I should buy myself a cat.

(Sigh)

Befuddled and Not-so-Bemused.

Excepting for senti-dialogues thrown at me unexpectedly and my mom's impeccable timing for an argument, there are a very few things in this planet that leave me flustered or make me succumb to inarticulate-fumblings during a conversation.

However, much to my dismay, I've recently come to realise that Yours Loquaciously isn't invincible after all (sob!) and is astonishingly incapable of handling certain critical questions posed at her wherein which she is forced to go parch on words.

Questions that leave me frightfully befuddled:



1. "Whats up? "

The worst one of them all. This one leaves me super-stumped without fail.
Try as I might, I just cannot think of a suitable reply for this question. Period.

All of its amusing varieties- the rhetoric version of 'whats up' or the cool-slurry 'ssup girlie', leave me equally tongue tied, wondering whether to give my cliched 'Oh..err..nothing really' reply or just a sheepish grin. Or do I really tell them whats up? Do they really want to know?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
*****************************************


2. "So...what else? "

Kitchens run out of butter, houses run out of soap (pardon my ingenious exmaples that scream pathetic all over). If a conversation runs out of topics to sustain its existence, its only decent to bail out.
'So..what else?' is NOT the ideal way to protract this conversation. Not with me.
This one SO puts me off that I just want to flee at that very instant, let alone rattle my head for a witty comeback.

*****************************************

3. "What plans for future?"

Invasion of Cambodia. Thats my future plan. Interested any further?

*****************************************
4. " So, (sly grin) when are you getting married?"

Now really, does it honestly matter to you when I'm getting married? Actually, do you really think I wouldn't let you know if and when I knew?

I mean, for the eternal loud-mouth I am, I'd probably be screaming at the top of my lungs from roof tops once I was getting hitched. Trust me, I'm no Saif Ali Khan on this one. So, why don't we just save me from becoming all squeamish when we're were doing just fine so far?



***************************************************



There!
Except for the above mentioned, I really am delightful company if I do say so myself and you may very well invite me for high-tea whenever you want, and I shall gladly do the honours of indulging in professional small-talk. Not to mention, the weather and everybody's health. (Courtesy: Henry Higgins)



I really do have problems, don't I?