Mom, don't click that.

I've always been weary of my mom knowing her way around the Internet. Not that I had any problems with her snooping around my desktop or my folders which are an in-house for all those love-letters I got during my school and college days*, its just that I've always thought that the Internet was a pretty un-safe place for the likes of my mom who is perpetually intrigued by its nuances and hops from one site to another on a continual basis.

We've come a long way, my mom's love for the Internet and I. She was a fast learner right from the beginning, as in right from the day I taught her how to hold the mouse and convinced her that she wasn't going to get anywhere useful unless she looked at the monitor and not at her right hand on the mouse. Did I mention fast learner? Funny.
But yes she's evolved enormously. She now chats with my chithis and perimas using smileys 'n all with such enviable ease :O (albeit the typos *straight-face*)
Now that's my mom! You go gurl!! :D

However, whats irked me of late is a new friendship request she accepted, unintentionally. His name is Aneesh Gopee and I haven't the faintest idea how he chanced upon my Mom's Yahoo! ID that too when herYahoo! ID is predominantly known to maamis only, with an average age 56.5 (there you go, clean stats). I don't think I can fetch the right words to describe her contacts amongst the maami circle. The popular joke at home is 'Are you maami? Mylapore a?? Srinivasar Kovil a? Besh..Thats nice. What did you say your email ID was ?' :P

So coming back to the anonymous franseep request, considering that Aneesh is not maami and neither is he 55, I was starting to get really disturbed to see his ID in my mom's friend's list. When I asked my mom what on earth she was thinking when she accepted his request, I get a classic 'Therila di.....I was trying to close the window and get it done with, so I kept clicking on finish'.
Classic reply indeed :P

He's apparently seen my mom online today and asked her her age and whether she was a doctor or something. Talk about class pickup lines :P I was there with my mom when that message popped up.I don't remember the conversation following that cos I was extremely busy rolling over the floor laughing, but my mom happened to very neatly convince him that she was a doctor. She stopped typing after he started asking questions of course, but I've had my laughter quotient for today.
For this week actually.

I cant wait till she goes online tomorrow...or I could perhaps fill in for her?
Now there's a thought.

I don't know...Life's been the least bit boring of late.

* Last I heard that my mom visits this blog regularly. I was just kidding about the love-letters ma, you didn't have to faint for that. Please get up now... you still have to teach me how to make malai-kofta *colon-pipe*

My Not-so-secret affair with Typos

Geek and I recently came to a conclusion that there are 3 types of typos in this world.

1. The Typo-typo (TT)
2. The Word-typo (WT)
3. The Smiley-typo (ST)

I would have stopped with this customarily (yeah right) but since you're still in this page reading this...this.......and oh yes, this too............. I will elaborate with a few FAQs.

I) Typo-typo
1) err... sorry, but what is a Typo-typo?
Oh, simple. This one is the spelling typo, the quintessential typo everyone commits. The 'o' instead of the 'i', the 'e' instead of an 'r'... they're very very common in IM especially if you type sooper fast like me.

2) Ok...So?
So...your chat transcript would look like this:

Friend1: So how are you feeling these days? Recovering from that nasty allergy?
Me: No. I'm feeling very colon-pope these days
Friend1: (silent)
Me: Chs....I meant colon-pipe
(Silence....A few seconds later)
Me: Cha...I meant cha
(A moment later)
Friend1: Are you done? *straight face*

3) So how should I feel after committing a typo-typo?
Relax...its not like you've killed the US president (if you did, can we hire you?)
If I were you, I'd just ignore this typo and pretend like it never happened. No need to cover up with the 'cha', 'oops', '* 'n all.
Its a waste of time.

4) So what do I do, really?
Nothing, don't bother with anything. Your partner/friend/girlfriend/not-so-girlfriend/foe/boss(ouch) is going to figure out what you were trying to say anyway.
So chill.

5) Peace. Can we go ahead with the next typo then?
Yes we can.

II) Word-Typo (WT)
1) Word-typo va? What the hell is that?
This one is the most abominable of all typos.
Its when you type the wrong word instead of the one you were planning on typing. Its a very painful typo to endure..particularly when you're the one committing it. A few of these in your IM transcript, you can be instantly declared as the I'm-trying-to talk-Englees-but-its-blowing-up-royally-on-my-face king of the community.

2) Come on...how on earth would you type the wrong word while IM'ing?
Sometimes when you think really fast and your fingers try to compete with the speed of your thought process, you end up typing words that 'sound' like the ones that actually ought to be there. And as Murphy would have it (in some way or the other), the word you've put down will have absolutely no relation whatsoever with the one you intended on putting down.

3) Eh? Double Eh??
For instance you'd end up typing an 'after' instead of a 'have to' because these two happen to sound quite similar.

So instead of typing I 'have to' stop at Mylapore on my way there,
You'd end up typing I 'after' stop at Mylapore on my way there

Not very enjoyable I tell you.

3) Christ! Do people actually commit such typos? Do you ?
Do I?
God, that is all I do on IM these days.
I don't know how or why but of late my chat transcripts are full of WTs...is it probably because I'm thinking faster these days than usual?

See, this is one of the reasons why I'd rather not IM someone I wish to keep in good spirits. I prefer the telephone if I'm yet to impress you.

4) God! :O This sounds like a malicious typo. How does it feel?
If you instantly identify your WT, you'd sometimes not even feel like going back and correcting it for fear of answering the embarrassing question 'Huh...how on earth did you put that word there?'
However, its a totally different story if you don't identify the WT at all.
I'm at total shame when I think of the WTs I've committed and NOT identified till very recently..because of which I hesitate to go back and read some old enjoyable transcripts with some good friends.

This following instance is the most nefarious of the lot.
Note: The word 'you' is a WT instead of the word 'to'

KindFriend: We have these wonderful music sessions every weekend. You could join us if you want to :-)
Me: Oh wow...I'd love you
(few seconds pause)
KindFriend(terribly confused) : err..sure..whatever.

Not a pretty scene no?

5) Ouch, yes. I see what you mean, So what do I do to obviate such WTs? I'd like to keep my friends you know :P
Yes, yes, I understand perfectly... the only way out, is reading what you've typed and THEN pushing the Enter button.
I won't be doing that though. Too much of a waste of time. :P

6) Ok, and the last typo?

III) The Smiley-typo
1) Let me guess...its by putting the wrong smiley?
Well yes, you got it.
But its not too harmful or anything to your reputation. So you can just put the right smiley following the wrong one.

2) You *actually* make smiley-typos 'n all? Christ!
Its not my fault. *all defensive now*
Sometimes different IM clients use different character combinations for their smileys.
For instance, :-x is the angry smiley in Orkut.
While :-x is the 'falling in love smiley' in Yahoo!

3) *yawn*...so?
So, I wouldn't exactly be conveying what I wanted to in Yahoo! if I said:

Me: God, you're so infuriating I could throw my bookshelf on you
":-x"

4) Ah, I get the picture. So what do I do to not make a Smiley-typo?
Just remember which client your using. Simple.

5) Ok, thank you. That was indeed very enlightening. You're the best blogger in the world and I love you. Are you done?
Yes. I am done, thank you very much.
But sometimes its really worth committing a typo you know. Any typo.
Geek and I have laughed our guts out for hours looking at the typos we make.

Try it yourself.
The more preposterous the typo, the harder you laugh and the harder you fall off your chair

Happy typ(o)ing.
Till then, its Confoundud-baby saying 'wood-dye' to all of 'yoi'. :-x
:D