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Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2007

Come and Gone...Just like that...

Dear Diary,

I'd promised to fill your pages up religiously as a part of last year's resolution, but since even the most serious of resolutions blew up royally on my face, I don't think I even owe you an explanation for this one. Nevertheless, I'm coming back to do the honours for the grand finale this year and today being the last day of the last month n all I'm certainly not giving you any promises on any regular entries for 08.
've been there. Done that.

I thought that my journey down friendship-lane would be over once I was out of college and that I'd have to confront things far more serious and significant than friends and frolic. But '07 proved to be just the opposite. It introduced to the craziest set of ppl at work and outside of it who made work worthwhile. For some reason I never thought I'd even smile after college, but I eventually ended up laughing my guts out everyday at work because of these people. I'm grateful, for Satsang.

I joined my first company and I quit it too. A lot to handle in one year huh?
'07 taught me that it was ok to accept defeat and ask for help shamelessly. Work does do things to your self-esteem especially when you're in the learning stage, but I learnt that it was ok to give in and ask for help. Especially when we accidentally screw up the Client's Mainframes.
For the far more interesting (and equally humiliating:P) details, contact Ravi.
I have grown a lot and I'm grateful. For maturity.

I realised that I was passionate about something so much, so badly that I was willing to quit the job I started to like. '07 taught me that life's not about taking the right decisions; its about being confident whatever your decision may be. I just hope '08 will help reinforce that point into my system. Its an inspiring thought but its a tough one to percolate. I'm grateful nevertheless. For hope and ambition.

My preconceived notions on Madras being the be-all and end all place was shattered when I went to Bombay and realised that there were after all, other places I had to see...had to visit and had to experience. I was wrong about Madras being the best place in the world. But I still want to live and die here for this is my home. Period. I'm grateful, for home.

I discovered a part of me that could write. I wont claim that I write sense... but yes, I do write. It really isnt much, but for the numerous blogs and fabulous bloggers it has introduced me to, I'm grateful.

I've always had more reasons than I should to NOT keep in touch with some friends I'd met over the year. I suck at keeping in touch with my loved ones, unfortunately. The lazy bum I am, I'm surprised people still talk to me these days without any resentment. But '07 introduced me to people who don't necessarily expect a call to call you back and talk to you. Its been a year and we're surprisingly still going strong - despite being scattered ALL over the country and despite my crappy disposition. I just hope they don't give up on me one fine day.
For them, I'm grateful.

Its a long post. For those of you who are still reading, I'm all the more grateful. :D

I'm just thinking now.. '07 was nothing, absolutely nothing I'd expected it to be and I just hope '08 is a far more splendrous one. I know it will be.

I wish all my readers a fabulous year ahead. This blog is nothing without them all (the very limited readers this blog entices but still :D). I wish them nothing less than the best....along with World-Peace and Social-Harmony of course.......*controlling tears of joy*
(Can I have that diamond-studded crown now please?)

:D

Listening to
this for the zillionth time and feeling optimistic all over. Songs, I tell you. :P

Happy New Year folks!

Confounded-Lady

Friday, October 26, 2007

The Way of Dude-ism

*Its been long since I last blogged. A month to be precise and that's the longest hiatus I've given. I actually do have tonnes of reasons for not being able to blog, read and comment(the complete ritual of a blogger) ,but lets just leave that for some other time. Nevertheless, I'm thrilled you bothered to turn up just the same and read me again. (Actually I'm jumping so high out of glee that I just bumped my head. Wait did I just hear the ceiling crack?) *


Of late I've been relentlessly struggling NOT to suffix or prefix everything I say with the word 'Dude'. No, not food, not doodh...you heard me right, 'dude' ( and to think you always thought that you had weird neighbours).

I admit it does sound stupid, might make me sound like a desperate wannabe from an arbit 1980's American movie. Yeah. Nevertheless, I just can’t seem to fathom why this sudden obsession over the word.
Why dude. Why now.

There was this time in the early 2000's where the semi-hit movie 'Dude, Where's my Car' turned out to be a cult amongst the wannabe-so-cool youth. Dude had then become a word no sentence could do without.

““Dude, where’s my eraser?”
“Ouch, you stepped on my toe, Dude.”
"That is soo cool, dude"

Yeah, we were young and oh-so-hep back then. Then we all grew up .
Well at least some of us did.

And now, its all coming back to me. This time with more feeling.
I’m bitten by the dude-bug all over again and this time, it’s a more of a corporate and matured way of dude-ism.

“Dude, mail the boss and ‘cc’ me.”
“Dude, I’ll be there for the conference call at 7. Count on it”
“Dude, there’s a bug in my tea”
“Dude! Damn!”

Now, with the ‘D’ word being thrown here,there, everywhere, every time, my teammates weren’t particularly comfortable with that, initially.

Ravi was my team's 'dude'(pun intended, maybe) thanks to Yours Truly's fabulous-yet-weird name-keeping skills and of course not to mention, annoying fixation over the word d*de. For quite some time, I saw him rebel relentlessly to do away with the D word.
This innocuous title bestowed upon Ravi stuck on to him over due course of time where he soon became the well acknowledged dude of my team, whether he liked it or not. The ‘ol boy just had to relent.

I mean, initially it was like:

Me (frantically) : Dude!!!!!!! The mainframes are gonna crash…. We'll be hunted down like goats for an explanation and then sacked..and then our families will be stranded in the middle of no where, and it will all be because of this stooped command we issued. We're dead meat dude. We are so dead. Dude!!!!!!! Are you listening??????

Ravi/Dude (Chewing gum): Yeah. Don’t call me Dude.

Me (contorted face): WTF!

And nowadays, its like..

Me(frantically): Dude..!!! Storage says they don't have enough volumes to bring up the system…I’m out of gum…The systems are gonna crash…We'll be hunted down like rabbits (or was it goats?)…Our families will suffer…We'll be devastated and it will all be because of…

Ravi/Dude: Chill dudette. 'Dude' 's got it all under control here. And, did you just say we’re out of gum?

Me(for different reasons): WTF!

So, you see, over a period of time, people have learnt to respond amicably to dude-ism without much of a smirk. Its now a become a way of living. Now who would have thunk eh?

Well, like I always say (well not 'always', but yeah sue me) that’s just how the cookie crumbles. Dude-ism is here to stay and no one in my team could/can stop it. But just to be a bit fair, I’m fighting real hard trying not to start every scrap/mail/chat-session/sentence with dude. But with dudes and dudettes like my teammates who have so warmly welcomed the way of dud-ism into my team (despite Ravi-dude’s relentless efforts), I don’t think I should really try so hard.

Dudes and dudettes are here to stay.

Now isn’t that real groovy?
:D

Sunday, September 23, 2007




Yaaawn...*stretch*....But mommy, I don't wanna go to work today.


Ah, the good old days when I was paid heed to.
*Sigh!*

Monday, August 27, 2007

Bah!



Scenario: 21:10 hrs, Four of us at the Wooden-Tables beside the salad counter, Canteen.


Shyamala's taken a day off today, she's not feeling well (sure, whatever you say lady )
Renu's no where in the scene..she's perhaps decided to stay back at the cubicle and wait for Damu and Subin to take her place (I absolve thee Miss.Paulose)
Surosa has broken her leg and is at home sending us senti-senti friendhip sms'es. Veena 's on call as usual and Krati..well, I just dont know where Krati is.

So,where does that bring me?
Well, it brings me to the wooden tables opposite the Salad Bar at the canteen, with just 3 gentlemen (out of the 10 members at work)- Damu, Subin and Ravi (my precious teamie )

Now, normally these guys are a pleasure to dine with. We'd have a vibrant discussion on multi-farious topics ranging from the intricacies of Vaishnavaite philosophy to Kurt Cobain.

But today's not like that. There's a Cricket match on (or so I discover, from the abominable silence at the table).
My reaction to cricket-matches these days is '*Yawn* Nice... Can you pass me the salt please?'

I witness 40 minutes of silence at the dinner table while these 3 men have their heads tilted at an angle of 45 degrees gazing intently at the telly placed directly on top of my head.

Dinner time at work is very precious and I/we generally treasure every minute of it.
Not that we're made to work like cattle and are facing a severe time crisis at work or anything(Hell no! I love my boss. Well, when there's an appraisal on its way, why wouldn't I?), its just that its the only common time we have to do some friendly bantering and catch up with the chaos in everyone's team. We really enjoy it and we really do look forward to it. I know I do.

Silence at the dinner table? I mean, thats unheard of ..unless one of us was being paid to shut-up or all of us were feeding on our Canteen's special glue...sorry, halwa. Our team wouldn't know silence even if it bit us in our ear.
Today...well, I could have strangled my self and these guys wouldnt have noticed.

Next time theres a match, I'm heading straight to the Salad bar and dining with some of the married ladies there. I'd rather hear them blah-blah nonsense all day long than not have a a single word at dinner.

Men.
Cricket.
Bah!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

To Crib or Not to Crib..

Corporate life and its very overwhelming side-effects (plenty, on which I shall elaborate in detail later..if you haven't had enough of it so far, that is) have been one of the prime factors of inspiration (if not the only) for the genesis of my blog.

You know... I've read blogs on politics,societal hypocracy,college pressure, family knots,patriotism and some on improving your culinary skills too and all these blogs would be really enticing and not to mention, insightful.

I'd always wonder what I would blog on bearing in mind the multifarious topics that will interest both me and a common reader so that one day an arbit reader would exclaim out loud.. 'Ah good blog! I should definitely come back and learn more.'

But try as I might, I am exceedingly incapable of refraining from centring my blogs around the common-denominator, 'Work'.
And it doesnt stop with that..

From work, springs more work...which leads to pressure...which brings us to tension...taking us to dissatisfaction, and eventually my most favourite comfort-zone, 'cribbing'

Ah, cribbing!
Now don't you uncategorically dismiss this act as a trite activity.
Judgemental you!
hmph!!

Convincing and captivating cribbing comes only with practice and how convincingly you enthrall your sympathizing audience depends on how well you've mastered this art (and of course the sort of people you're subjected to at work...but thats just a tag added-on for humour. Or is it?)

I for one am the indeclared Mistress of Cribbing. Why, in fact, 'crib' is my middle name (after whining, fusspot, and lazy-bum of course)

And you know what?
Cribbing is contagious too. In a fun sort'ov way.

How?
Well...picture this...you wouldn't want your life to sound all mega 'peachy' over the phone when your poor friend's stuck at work with absurd timings, a crappy home...with crappy roomates...with an abominable boss..not to mention the miserable pay she might be getting.

So what can you do?
You can't undo her crappy life-style...No siree!
But what you can do, is make your life sound a little less chirpy...just trying to make your friend feel better, if not good.
So you do an itsy-witsy bit of cribbing in front of your depraved friend.
Like a harmless drink in front of your boss.
No harm after all.
Its not going to change anything anyway.

Thats harmless, steadfast and unadulterated cribbing for you. :)

The problem only rises when this becomes a habit and when you blame all your problems on one soul reason.
This is whats called 'uncool' cribbing
That is when you need an urgent metamorphosis on your outlook on life, in general.

hmmm....so much for uncalled-for philosphy-preaching.
(Please dont hate me for this)

So...will my blogs be worthwhile and constructive henceforth??

umm.... Next kosteen please :D


A forward I accidentally happened to read. Somethink to think about.
Always..


Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-
conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel.
It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the adminperson, it was the savings in time.
As PM, he had so many things to do.

He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office does not mean our brows do not sweat.
You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrency; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"


The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the Project Manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.

"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."


Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self- realisation. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization.
When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.


"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."


"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety."
"But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded."


"His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now, as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; a valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.


The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly as if by impulse,he stood at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.
It was the least he felt he could do for the country.


PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight.
For this and his various other acts of bravery he was awarded the Param
Vir Chakra the nation's highest military award.

Live humbly, there are great people around us, let us learn!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A Sip of Coffee for the Beginners' Soul

I was stuck in a meeting this morning with some angr(ej)y folks at work and the amount of continuous yada-yada-yada blah-blah-blah I was subjected to, is just inexplicable.
It was past my lunchtime and this meeting just never seemed to end.

I was beginning to feel hungry...and restless...and fidgety....and agitated...and jumpy, and irritated to say the least 'coz my tummy was now making funny noises and let me tell you, you don't want to be within a 10 metre radius from me when my tummy is no longer under my control.

I was desperate. I'd keep eyeing the door waiting for a miracle to happen.. like for instance, someone coming through the door with lunch on a tray or the bell ringing signalling that all activity ought to stop.
(Bell???? At work?? Anyone having the feeling I skipped college and joined work straight away from school??)

Just when I was I beginning to lose all hope a fellow enters the Conference Room with a tray.
Prayers answered!
Talk about wishful thinkin...Boy, that was quick!

But wait...a tray...with cups?
Tea??
At 01:30 pm in the afternoon???
Who, in his/her right senses would serve TEA in the afternoon?????!?!?!?!?!?!!?

Fine whatever....I gazed hopefully at that tray while it was gracefully but friggin slowly taking its turn round the table.

I grab that cup when I get the chance.
Sip...lick....mmmmmmmm

No...more like...gulp...lick..gulp...gulp...gulp...mmmmm...(burp)

That drink was well deserving...Big smile on face.
But wait..this wasnt tea....this was...wait..its like something I've never tasted before.

Coffee.
Coffee....It was Coffee!

By George!

I drank my first cup of coffee ever, unknowingly that too....shattering all my ancient apprehensions on caffeine, throwing my prejudice against poor-'ol-coffee out the window.


And, you know what?
It didn't taste all that bad.

Think I'll give this drink a try once in a while.
(I'm still loyal to milk and tea though)

Anyways.....
Well...whaddya know....looks like coffee,most definitely, is my cup of tea after all:)

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Lets Talk About Making an Impression

Funny what you put yourself through JUST to make a good impression.
Even funnier how things blow up on your face at the end of the day.
Life, Bah!

Picture this, my boss asks me to send one of those neat meeting invites you can create in Microsoft Outlook for a meeting over the phone, to brief me on some Client-Fundas I ought to be aware of, and in turn enlighten my team.


So ,Friday evening, the excited me fixes up a decent meeting-invite (first time you know.. )all properly worded and stuff, keeping in mind the time-zone-complexity involved in this entire scene.

Meeting for 1 hour.
11:30 am, afternoon, on Sunday.My time
2 am. His time.

Comfy for both my boss and me.He doesn’t sleep early on weekends.. he said so himself.

Nice, meeting invite accepted also.
Done.
Not bad na?

So, Saturday afternoon, I ask myself if I have to do some reading-shmeeding, just to go over the company’s policies, so that I don’t sound like a complete jerk on Sunday’s meeting.

Its all about making an impression, remember?

Its Saturday evening, and I haven’t yet bothered to read through any of the relevant pdfs in my mailbox.
Bah…Procrastination!!
Oh well, its probably genetic by now.

Saturday night.
Will not be smitten by the procrastination-bug.
Will-power.
That’s the spirit.
I read all the pdfs in my mailbox…so that I can smartly say… 'Yes Boss, I know that…Oh yes, that too' :P


Fine…apart from that, the least I can do is get a decent note-pad and a pen..that writes (That combination is a luxury in my house…trust me). And to make the call even more convenient on my side, I hunt for my long-lost earphones, so that I don’t have to tilt my head during the entirety of the call.

The checklist before I hit the sack that night….infrastructure, all set.
I’ve told my grandparents not to summon me and make me run any errands for them from 11:30 hours- 13:00 hours.
Rite, done.

Yep all set.
Am I prepared for a meeting or what!!

Sunday morning.

Yawn….stretch….yawn yawn..

Lets look at the clock....
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

Meeting with boss!!!!!!!!!!!
Frantic hunt for cell under the sheets….missed calls.
Missed calls!!!


Christ…I just slept through a supposed-to-be-meeting with my boss!!!!!!

As if things weren’t ‘great’ enough at work!!!

(Don’t believe me? Check the post downstairs )

I sit on my bed…...and think.
And think.

Any more smart ways to make a good impression??

Friday, May 4, 2007

Its a 'Crazy' night out there

Night!

You know, these timings sort of bring out the worst in you. No wonder God programmed all of us to sleep through this time entirely and wake up when the world is devoid of darkness.
Boy….we have one hellova focused fellow up in the skies, I tell you.

Not an axiom I’m coming up with, but with the exasperating experience I’ve had over the past 4 weeks, I think I’m entitled to form my share of judgment.

Night…There are only 3 things you can, ought to and should be doing at this time.
Sleeping……Studying… and thirdly ,well..I’ll leave that to your imagination (ahem..)But I seriously don’t think ‘work’ ought to come anywhere near this list.

People are like the skies…they turn their shades in the absence of the sun.

Wait, did I say people??

I don’t wish to make a universal statement on the global juntha. I’m not that old-and-wise to comment on Human Behaviour ‘n all.
But comment on myself…yes that I can do very well.
I’m beginning to understand myself better every day….Or, every night.
(Night shifts remember? :D)

Let the unit of measurement of Human-Tension, for this discussion, be….say, Litres.
(Might sound crazy but do bear with me..)

If the average tension level of Yours Truly, on a normal working day, be 40 litres..
Night shifts bring up my tension level to a whooping un-precedented 400 litres.

Profound self assessment over the past few weeks has lead to the final conclusion ….. that, I’m unimaginable crazy under pressure.

The funny part of all this is that…my poor project mate is having to bear the brunt of my flaky temper and eccentric idiosyncrasies.

I end up losing my cool and screaming at him every other day…and also shamelessly apologizing every other day.
Crazy crazy cycle this is .
Amazing patience this fellow has… man!!!!!!!!!


Today, …we had quite a lot of documentation to do. It was around 2:30 am….’n we still had miles left…when I totally lost it..and screamed at this Mr. Fellow for not helping me with the doc’n . This shameless act of loose temper was followed by the customary goofy apology I deliver with great ease. This time with more style and élan.

Our crazy crazy conversation goes something like
this…
(Anyone here feeling that I’m using the word ‘crazy’ more often than not )

Oh well..Koi baat nai…read on


(I walk up to this fellow’s seat)

ME: Ravi..
RAVI(eyes anticipating havoc): Ab Kya?
ME: I’m….I’m….sorry .
RAVI(Non-chalant look): Ya, I know
ME(with over-whelming guilt ): Hey..lots of documents…all unfinished business… all drove me visibly insane.
RAVI(sarcastically): Really? I didn’t notice.
ME(detecting the tint of sarcasm):Ya, Whatever. We’re ok na? Not angry or anything na?
RAVI: Ya ya..go go..do your documentation.
ME(alarmed at his shameless reply yet grateful for not being mistaken ): Ya ok..

And I go on to do documentation at some goddamn time at the middle of the night…while Mr. Fellow, is doing some non-documentation work.

That’s what I call style man.
(Or ishtyle… whatever :D)

Now I sit at home…in front of the lappy, at 5:30 am typing this mail…. Asking myself ….is life, or more specific, work, worth all that tension…and all that apology???

Really…..like what Sahil (my friend,philosopher 'n guide) says…all our problems, in a broader perspective, disintegrate to be minute atoms in the Solar System called Life… So why bother ??
We just have to remember that …In the end, it doesn’t really matter.
(Copyright: Linkin Park)

So…Tension Kai ko lene ka?